In honor of this night...

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 10/31/2015 at 23:37 • Filed to: None

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I present to you the scariest video in existence.

Diesel > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/31/2015 at 23:40

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Just think, somewhere there's a man that has to tell her she is talented and did a good job. That's the true nightmare.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Diesel 10/31/2015 at 23:43

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And that man probably makes a lot of money

Diesel > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/31/2015 at 23:47

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You are probably correct.

pip bip - choose Corrour > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:12

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this isn’t great either

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:12

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Well, at least she has her looks

pip bip - choose Corrour > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:17

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or this

pip bip - choose Corrour > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 11/01/2015 at 00:21

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no not really.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:21

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At least she didn’t use autotune

Steve in Manhattan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:27

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I have relative pitch, close to perfect pitch. I say pitch her.

Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:41

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I listened to 140 middle school clarinets play the same two damn etudes for 9 hours today.

I was hoping for something that would wash those two bits of music out of my ears.

Now I just want jam an ice pick into my ears. Thanks.

Chariotoflove > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 00:49

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Auuuugh! What did I just see?! Now I have to go watch a Wes Craven marathon or something before I can go to sleep.

ttyymmnn > Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious 11/01/2015 at 00:54

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Are you in TX? My son played his 7th grade district audition today.

ttyymmnn > pip bip - choose Corrour 11/01/2015 at 00:56

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She’s actually not all that bad a singer. It’s the mind-numbingly banal lyrics that doom that song.

Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious > ttyymmnn 11/01/2015 at 01:01

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What are the odds? I’m in Hell Paso. (Technically, I live in Horizon City, but I teach in El Paso.)

ttyymmnn > Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious 11/01/2015 at 01:10

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Odds are pretty good, apparently. We’re in Austin. I’ve been on Oppo for years, and you’re the first professional musician, let alone band director, I’ve found on here.

But 140 clarinets? Holy headache, Batman. I judged a mock audition for a local middle school two weeks ago but only heard 37 trumpets play one scale and two lines of one etude. It took less than an hour (I went pretty quickly), but then I did a masterclass after that. I can’t imagine having to spend all day judging. I’ve never judged, nor do I ever want to.

tromoly > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 01:21

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That video was on an episode of @midnight.

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 01:42

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Ouch that is painful. It sounds like a Spanish or Portuguese woman trying to sick karaoke in English.

Can’t sing, can’t dance and looks like a five-pinter (you’d have to drink five pints of beer to find her attractive enough to sleep with).

Friend or no friend I would not be taking this grenade for anyone.

coqui70 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 10:21

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*Sigh* It’s good to be a rich Russian (or other but her accent is making me think Russian) oligarch/mobster! I have to admit I too would sponsor nubile young babes and their singing aspirations. For all you haters out there she may not be Barbie but I bet you she’s nice and soft and smells nice.

The Compromiser > Diesel 11/01/2015 at 10:28

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To be fair, he’s probably saying it to the top of her head so she can't really see him breaking up as he says it.

wkiernan > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 10:36

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Hey, no Auto-tune!

X37.9XXS > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/01/2015 at 10:57

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I see your Gnesa and raise you